The time Bob and I have had together has been very special, and precious for both of us. We weren’t sure that either of us would appreciate that much “intense together” time. But we found it only strengthened our bond and love for one another. A time in which we discovered a renewed mutual appreciation, and the realization…yet again…of how different we are from one another. Different, yet so good for one another. But it was good to separate for a brief moment, and for that time I returned to Brazil.
I’ve been going to Brazil for 14 years now, and try to go every year. The time and relationships there have been sweet. I’ve learned much from these dear friends at Restoration Ministries, and maybe they’ve learned a little from me. Restoration Ministries works with poor and marginalized children and their families in the drug-riddled slums (favelas) of Sao Paulo. These are not areas you nonchalantly enter, but these are areas where thriving communities exist, even given the drugs, violence, and other things that accompany that type of situation.
The people that live here, like you and I, have hope for their children. Many have dreams for their children. And all, like you and me, were created with specific abilities and gifts, that due only to their circumstance of birth will rarely be able to fully develop. It’s easy for many (particularly those of us from a Western culture) to look at these people as a project to be accomplished, rather than as people who crave relationship, love and the truth. It reminds me of the well-intentioned Christmas and Thanksgiving baskets that many of us prepare for the poor.
Somehow these types of projects help us feel better about the situation – like we can bring temporary alleviation. But our willingness to engage and develop true relationship often falls dismally short. We can feed them, but can we love them? Can we look beyond the “let’s build a home for them” to let’s develop relationship and engage with them? A book that has helped me in my understanding of the poor is “When Helping Hurts” by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett. It was my first visit to Brazil that led me to discover the work that resulted in this book.
It was that visit that convinced me, I had to be willing to give of myself. To be transparent in doing so, and to learn how to love in a situation and with people in which I was totally uncomfortable, and for which I felt completely unequipped. But thankfully, to love another doesn’t require any special equipping, it just requires willingness, and as I mentioned previously transparency. Hard for me to do, particularly when I think I have all the answers. Authentic transparency is quite challenging.
When I go to Brazil, my goal is simple. I want to be available. One quickly learns though, fun is a requirement when you hang with Brasileiros. They are some of the most fun-loving people you will ever have the joy to encounter. My time there was rich, one on one time with the young staff of the ministry (it has been an honor watching many of these young people grow and mature over the years), leadership development with the staff, teaching a seminar on finance in three of the favela communities where they work, speaking at a woman’s tea, and having lots of fun. I have to say Sao Paulo makes me tired, but it’s a good tired.
I come away from that time feeling joyful for the time I have with my friends, thankful for the opportunity. My worldview expands when I realize cultures don’t separate us as much as we think. We just have to be willing to walk in a manner of humility (again, not easy) and willingness to learn from what others have to teach us.